no doctors.com archive october 0006

nodoctors.com
archive october 0006

tuesday 10/31/0006

NO DOCTORS Live Tonight San Francisco CA
Club Six 60 6th St @ Mission

Club Six
Doors at 8pm and show at 9 pm
It is $5 with costume and $7 without
21+

The Flying Luttenbachers
No Doctors
Microwaves
Battle Axe

Dj's for the night are
Paul Costuros
Robert Price

Video by Appliancide

Art is curated by Archie and Michelle
Featuring artwork by
Sophia Wang
Archie McKay
Sfumato
Michelle Tate
TI
Kottie Paloma
John Dwyer

posted by elvis

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sunday 10/29/0006

Mr. Brians's Tour Breakfast Update:
10/29/06
Lamb Sandwich w/ purple mayonaisse
Davis CA

10/28/06
Bacon Cheeseburger w/ no mayo
Oakland CA

SHOW REPORT: Davis CA 10/28/06
Mr. Brians

Showed up at KDVS in a state of panic: major, major piss break needed. walking the halls I felt the residues of Pumice's performance in the hallways a while back; that guy was down. The live radio set brought back such classics as the Cansafis censored Anthony Keidis delivery and Sharkskin Blues. Elvis has become a true singer for this tour.

Halloween bash preview at the Delta of Venus at night. Some costumes: this one chick was "killer spinach". Saw a "butthead" too. We played well, the Luttenbachers slayed. The merch table was absent of their four most recent releases: sold out! Weasel's kick drum leg fell off during an improv; he insisted it has never happened before and blamed it upon the "spooky" synchronicities inherent in the evening. Oh, that Weez!

Our host Brendan from KDVS gave us the key to his pad. A true host! What a gentleman! Chauncey busted out his shortwave radio receiver and got hyphee on those radio signal curls. Blew my mind. Rick Ele was there and told us to take the windy road to Eureka. The view from the van now is incredible, very well done. Check it out:

posted by mr. brian

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BRAND NEW T-SHIRTS FOR SALE!!

Hand screened by the band - two different designs: US OUT OF CA TOUR (see below image front/back) and "Classic Clxps" (you know the deal). We have many different colors of shirts available in S,M,L,XL. Choose yr color and we will accommodate. Limited quantities. The tour shirts will most likely sell out on tour. If you order now we will hold one for you and mail it when we return 11/11.

$8 - cheap! Postage included. PayPal to orders @ nodoctors.com or email re: alternate payment methods.

posted by elvis

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Below we forecast the weather on the road (US OUT OF CA TOUR 10/28-11/11). We put a mind to the historical context so as to better acquaint ourselves with those who came before and those who will come after. We detail our dawning presence, how it is, and why it is, with hope for how it shall be. Please, good reader, give life to our whimsy. Stand up and shake flimsy. Start your breakfast with kimchee. Allella.

No Doctors Live in Eureka CA 10/29/0006
At The Pearl Lounge 507 2nd St.
w/ The Neptune Society

Eureka is our home & tour state's motto. Puzzled?. Behold her glory. Lucky for us this photo wasn't taken by the rogue helicopter pilot. That chameleon!

We may busk at Humboldt State University, and also follow this lefty local's advice, checking out the beach at the mouth of the Mattole river. After that some time will be spent hanging out with the world's largest trees.

We play the Pearl, a cheap cheap cheap $3 gig with locals The Neptune Society. In preparation, I researched their planet and their historical leader. Look closely, it's a triptych.

Edger Allen Poe will be in our thoughts, and we will be attentive to
local sciences, sonic and material.

We spend the night at Damieon's place (that's not really him; simply a shameless Chicago Bulls plug).

The real Damieon plays in the band Que La Chinga and has been
incredibly helpful in setting up and promoting this show. We
appreciate all of his help and look forward to sharing some shows
in the future.

posted by cansafis

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friday 10/27/0006

US OUT OF CA TOUR BEGINS TOMORROW SEE YOU THERE
updates from the road as is feasible

posted by elvis

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thursday 10/26/0006

Casa D'Ice - all class, all the time:

(tip'd by kevekev.com)

posted by elvis

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The tour has been dubbed "US out of CA," guitarist Elvis DeMorrow told me. "I think everyone can get behind secession at this point."

posted by elvis

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No Doctors Live in Oakland CA 11/11/0006
At Eli's Mile High Club 3629 MLK
w/ Erase Errata, Kid 606 & Friends, Lemonade

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posted by cansafis

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tuesday 10/24/0006

TANKERTOWN weekly comickxs by Foote & deMorrow:

posted by elvis

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No Doctors Live in Santa Cruz CA 11/1/0006
At The Blue Lagoon 923 Pacific Ave.
w/ The New Thrill Parade, The Flying Luttenbachers, Howlin' Magic

When I was a freshman in High School, I bought myself a brand new skate deck from SCS. I got in maybe two solid sessions, before one of the local punks tried to pick a fight with me. As we stood nose-to-nose in the Ben Franklin parking lot at 7 & 101 doing the staredown dance, one of his goon henchmen absconded with my new toy. Before I had a chance to figure out what was going down, the cops came and made everyone scatter.

On All Saint's Day I will ride into Santa Cruz beneath a benevolent
sun and make my amends, exorcising this spiritual blemish by
channeling the energies of Artemis the Spoonman, Caker and his Dogs, and the Young Alcoholics.

The immortal NVH gave me the lowdown on grub, recommending
the Asian Rose and Zachary's. I also feel drawn toward the Saturn
Café. Noel suggested hitting Streetlight or LOGOS as well.

If perchance you are too young to go the show, you may enjoy spending your evening with a copy of Stone Soup, as I myself might.

OK, so maybe you're not that young, but don't hate on the kids doing their thing!

posted by chauncey

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No Doctors Live in Modesto CA 11/2/0006
At The Mustang Club 413 7th St.
w/ Old Hack, Jelly Donut Gang

We hear Modesto is a sports town and plan on working with the
local community to develop an inspired legacy.

We passed on our chance to open for fellow negation-based cal punk band and dogged alphabetical spectres "No Doubt," instead opting for a show with young punks bellin' The Jelly Donut Gang.

Upon announcement of the show this happened, and we now must face the consequences. Buh.

posted by cansafis

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friday 10/20/0006

The SF Chronicle has a great article on wine glasses today. One day I will make the jump from "drunk" to "wine nerd" (I think this distinction is somewhat related to income). This reminds me of when Fis had a JOB in Chicago that poured free bottles of fine wine upon us; we would guzzle them out of the bottle as we watched stoopid movies in Rogers Park. Philistines!

posted by elvis

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We are playing a show tonight in Oakland at 21 Grand 416 25th St (@ Broadway). Joining us are miRthkon, Upsilon Acrux, and an undoubtedly excellent permutation of the Weasel Walter Ensemble. 9PM $6 - we are playing second and will most likely be on around 10PM. We are dusting off some old songs that we haven't played for many months, and the kevekev.com himself is in town; he will be appropriately 'shirted. "nuff said"!

posted by elvis

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No Doctors Live in Lompoc CA 11/5/0006
At the South Side Coffee Company 105 South "H" Street
w/ Silver Daggers, Kevin & Chad

Lompoc (pronounced Lom-Poke), nicknamed "The City of Arts and Flowers", is a Chumash Indian word meaning stale water. Seems the valley that palms this town was once a marshland. Haunted and Holy. Perfect for a Sunday Evening show. Give me my daily bread. And booze.

As an ambitious youngin' in the ever-growing web comics scene it is refreshing to see that Lynn and Bill, two of the 50,000 Lompoc residents, offer them weekly, even to the local TV, whom we shall contact in an effort to merge television with anti-vision. Speed Racer versus Ralf Ryder: who wins?

One thing I am looking forward to is listening to DJ Quik with the
man who helped organize this event, Ryan Froemming. Another is perhaps scoring some of that holy bread for my road hunger. Potentially a beach visit will reveal the endangered Snowy Plover, so that we can cuddle it with our eyes.

In closing we will document journeys amongst the 11 murals that Lompoc proudly claims. It will be the final movement in our pilgrim preparation for the holiday of MARTINMAS, which shall commence on his day 11/11 in Oakland. St. Martin of Tours may you watch over ours and give it good fortune. Blog you later.

posted by cansafis

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Dream Voice

I am the sweet divine sound of the Infinite,
Swelling into fresh shapes with each breath,
Remembering all lost colors slowly, feet tapping, eyes crying,
The free skull within laughing frequently.

I am the fixed voyage taken each night,
The not-so-subtle glow of luxury
Cast down to those whose memories
Might otherwise fail them.

All dreams are tantric runes;
Portents recalling the single cell memory
In the clear and whispering
River of madness beneath a red sun.

Skylights revealing ocean and
Trumpets shall ever and ever
Be blowing through the ears
Of her favorite moment.

Song, symphony, records and planes,
This ship unsailing too close to the desert,
And a forgotten camel nailed
To the back of the door like
A broken turntable
Walking slowly through a
Glass window on Sunday, 10:30 a.m.

posted by chauncey

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thursday 10/19/0006

"'A Taste' of Several Dichotomy"
Elvis deMorrow

Although I don't pretend to disdain the good old-fashioned heat generated by solid opinion-mongering in the 'tete-a-tete' mode, I am sufficiently entertained by the mere combination of concepts that kevekev seeks to combine into coherence (see kevekev.com vs. the post-avant 10/13/06) that I will simply opt for an casual examination of the dichotomies at hand (I am sure there will be plenty of the former approach to be found in this space in the coming months!).

kevekev is essentially attempting to simultaneously evoke and discuss the following dichotomies: the absence and presence of meaning; market-based value and aesthetic-based value; 'popular culture' and 'fringe culture'; and the academic and auto-didactic origins of artistic expression.

He also omits an additional - I think significant - relationship between technical as opposed to performative qualities in 'experimental' musics over time.

These are relevant and weighty relationships to consider, and it is useful to do so. I wouldn't pretend to be prepared to work them all into some sort of coherent discussion of contemporary music; fortunately, kevekev didn't really try to either. Let us briefly turn to each pair:

the absence and presence of meaning

'Noise' music can sensibly be defined in part as a music that offers little discernible meaning arising from any intent in the musician. But a cursory glance at the role & clarity of any discernible meaning to one's life in contemporary America betrays the absurdity of the distinction.

To justify the relevance of this lens one would have to: assume that aesthetic values are internalized or even understood at any point in the arc of an contemporary formal education; assume that there is any widely understood meaning to the current economic system which offers - generally - an handful of degrees of abstinence, subservience, acquiescence or participation in a rigged game based upon the movement across time & space of arbitrary signifiers said to imply "money", and its associated violence; furthermore assume the health of any discussion of meaningful human relationships in a culture that generally equates consumption with aesthetic intent, and by its consumption habits can generally be seen to favour little that does not conform to dehumanizing and unambitious standards of sexual, emotional, intellectual and violent relationships.

In refusing to abide by these assumptions, the contemporary musician would be reasonable to approach meaning in a more exploratory and open-ended fashion, rather than in pursuit of specifically defined or even easily discernible truth values (meaning). In fact, they may find it useful to focus upon constructing new & relevant shared meanings with an audience in a conservative fashion (i.e. beginning with gestures composed of basic, rather than loaded, elements of meaning, and proceeding from there).

market-based value and aesthetic-based value

For the contemporary musician, this distinction is all but non-negotiable: the absence of any centralized support mechanisms outside of an ologopolistic publishing and distribution system that places marketing (consumption) success above any aesthetic value makes this one a real 'groaner'. The minority that will find a reason and/or opportunity to consider aesthetic values to be a relevant (let alone crucial) component of their lives will inevitably & quickly realize that any intersection between aesthetic- and market-based value is merely coincidental. If my points here seem vague I recommend a simple 60 minute survey of a representative 'cable' television (pay particular attention to the advertisements).

Assuming that the serious contemporary musician is necessarily a part of this minority, it would be reasonable for them to quickly 'get over' the fact that any aesthetic virtue or artistic achievement they may realize will only coincidentally be rewarded (or even recognized) by the market. Perhaps their time is better spent considering the proper conditions conducive to such favourable synchronicities, rather than engaging in any hard-noising "rebellion" against the market that kevekev would like us to see.

'popular culture' and 'fringe culture'

This is perhaps the most nebulous of the bunch, and worth more time than I care to devote here. I would like to extend this discussion to consider these two ideas in the near future.

academic and auto-didactic origins of artistic expression

This is a more interesting relationship to consider. Rather than an anachronism or absurdity, this poses an actual dilemma for the contemporary musician in America. The aforementioned absence of any significant discussion of aesthetic value in the common contemporary educational career (I speak of any level of certification here - from simple legal maturation into "adult-hood" to doctoral dissertation leading to "professional" status) will inevitably cultivate a strong negative reaction in the serious artist. Any level of conditioned negative response to educational authority -- from simple laziness to sheer existential terror or even poo-slinging rebellion -- is the rational response to a poorly structured system that is obviously intended to condition tolerance to wage-slavery rather than encourage human development. It is a nasty trick, and a thinly veiled one, at that.

Similarly, those who continue into undergraduate and post-graduate levels are aware that these programs generally serve to simply prolong intellectual & emotional adolescence prior to "earning" (not "purchasing"?) a rather arbitrary standard of professional certification. It becomes apparent that the vast majority of any substantial progress being made within the academy is by design confined to highly specialized fields (materialist or otherwise). Such intense specialization will generally tend to agitate or bore the contemporary musician, who is more interested in questions, answers, and mysteries that can be shared with an audience rather than remain exclusive to himself and his colleagues.

Hence a tendency towards auto-didactic bases of musicianship. This is fine as long as it is a choice in itself rather than merely a reaction to the inadequacies of the academy; unfortunately, it is rarely the former. The contemporary musician should be careful in the texts and traditions that he chooses to study and to ignore, and have solid reasons for each such decision.

This brings us to a final, highly relevant dichotomy that kevekev ignores (although the New York Times article he cites certainly does not): technical skill and performative qualities in contemporary experimental music.

Much as the contemporary musician (as well as his audience) is conditioned to gag in the face of academic standards or formal education, so he learns to distrust technique and become more comfortable communicating within the realm of the insincerity of performance rather than the sincerity of technical skill/composition. When the life's diet is composed of a vast amount of technical skill employed to (at best) deceive and (at worst) control, one tends to prefer to evaluate the unadorned and uncomplicated performance rather than more complex formal and technical expressions. This is a sensible response in the face of both Clear Channel and MOMA: aesthetic values have been so thoroughly ignored or abused that the performance paradoxically becomes a more trusted vehicle for sincere musical expression than its formal qualities. This also accounts for the role of the random in experimental musics, which is not new but which I would argue has grown exponentially in interest and influence; the technology offered the contemporary musician explodes, rather than confines, random occurrence. So much the better: one can create more interesting pieces while relying even less on formal composition, technical skill, or other premeditated studies.

Again, this is all sensible in the face of things, but an advised approach is crucial: any musician worthy of attention must be prepared to convincingly justify all such choices. Any which way such justifications may lean -- to the sincere or insincere, coherent or unwieldy -- is of little consequence; as always, this game will accommodate all comers.

posted by elvis

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wednesday 10/18/0006

No Doctors Live in Petaluma CA 11/10/0006
At The Phoenix Theater with Near Life and others TBA

As a film enthusiast and emerging critik I note that Pauline Kael
was born in Petaluma. She is noted for her exhaustive work and her taste in the counter-culture and assorted anti-heroes. Any bird enthusiasts in the audience should note that Petaluma was once the "egg basket of the world", where six million hens laid six
million eggs; this is not officially biblical prophecy.

This is similarly not in Phoenix, but Newark fans take note, you are related.

The town's museum is also host to the largest free standing glass dome in Northern California.

Everyone from Houdini (Harry, not Joe) to X to Hillary Duff has played the Phoenix Theater, which began as an opera ouse, burned and re-emerged as a movie house (a la the fancy ame, Fahrenheit 451 fans), and then slowly turned into a rock and roll club. It prudently offers skate ramps in front of the stage, a free practice room for teens in the basement, and a free clinic two days of the week (I approve; please note the key term "free").

After a second fire in 1957 Tom Gaffey (pdf) , a teen involved with the theater, took over and has since served intermittently as its chief administrator. At present he has been running the joint for 18 straight years. We are honored and excited to play this show, and guesstimate best sound of tour will occur within its spacious confines.

This being our second to last show on the tour we send a prayer out to it and to all of you that our next may become bigger and better. This page hosts many an homage to the road ahead of us, most of them referencing California in one way or another. Walking in the footsteps of the past I pray also that this show presents an opportunity for a well-placed (and received!) stage dive. I leave you with a quote from the native Ms. Kael:

"I see little of more importance to the future of our country and of
civilization than full recognition of the place of the artist. If art
is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist
free to follow his vision wherever it takes him."

posted by cansafis

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tuesday 10/17/0006

TANKERTOWN the weekly webcomicxks serial by Foote & deMorrow

posted by elvis

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monday 10/16/0006

"13 Retorts from the Life of the Big Guy"
C. Chaumpers

He who takes Heaven as his ancestor, Virtue as his home,
the Tao as his door, and who becomes change is a Sage.
--Zhuangzi, Inner Chapters

The art of our time is noisy with appeals for silence.
--Susan Sontag, The Aesthetics of Silence

Kevekev.com, the venerable Second Sage of Baltimore, has transitioned us from our heated denunciation of the academy's established criteria and procedures, attempting to instigate an awareness of the forces fundamental to dialectical materialism. Strangely enough, he even sought to expose that "noise" artists seem to hold a contradictory position in today's aesthetic world, as if through pointing his finger toward this fatal kink, he might elicit from the reader so strenous a gasp as to cause the entire house of cards to tumble (see kevekev.com vs. the post-avant 10/13/06).

I certainly find cause for elation as I witness this eager Young Turk
attempting to hone his philosophy of radical pessimism into a valid critical tool, setting himself apart from his peers who have yet to
employ their opposable thumbs toward noble ends. However, as an experienced practitioner in the realm he is attempting to access, I feel compelled to illuminate him to the possibilities to be found in a more comprehensive investigation.

Historical avant-garde movements have rebelled against the academy and the market, not as ends in themselves, but rather as necessary precursors toward those realms hic abundant leones.

Human action is an inevitable consequence of framing one's
consciousness in life. Beside the frenzied mystical states, the
transcendent oneness of poetry, or the infinitely majestic bliss
beyond, we find ourselves compelled by pragmatic mandates. At its base, this reluctant truth professes itself through the animal
yearnings of the infant ape: the primal gasp of our first breath, the
steadfast compulsion toward the nipple.

Language was given to primitive man by his future self as a tool to
enable transcendence. In the 21st century, we find these simple
compulsions of the ape replaced by symbolic gestures that animate the economy. Whereas man once had to muster all his strength, ingenuity and luck to actualize the transference of life-sustaining energy from his chosen prey toward the bellies of he and his party, through the enacting of ritualized violence, the contemporary American instead concerns himself with far less urgent intimations of his mortal destiny.

Scribbling one's name upon a dotted line; appearing in more or less the same place and time as another man predicted you would; or at most, shouting "Look!" while you point behind your adversary's shoulder, and quickly tip-toe away as he cranes his neck; these are the sort of actions that those of us charged with the task of survival should be versed in by now.

As a young person in the age of information, the onslaught is
palpable. Young people in pockets of this country are becoming aware that information is a primary tool to support the power structures that leech off their vitality in order to survive. There has been much chattering of late about America's foreign policy as the desperate scramblings of a system coming to terms with the impending drama of Peak Oil. In reality, we know the administration in power will remain quite comfortable as long as it can harvest the energy of ignorant youth.

Noise is not an avant-garde attack; it is a defensive strategy to
evade the watchful eye of the Panopticon. Its logic is set up to
obliquely obfuscate all attempts at penetration, rendering the sacred promise wholly intact and beyond the reach of the menacing agent. Its practitioners need not be aware.

Noise confirms that music is everything. Numbers, platitudes,
synchronous apexes and the dull hum at the back of the room; this, too, befits the wave, coats all mystery in truth and digresses
nowhere, nothing, not even a sound.

Sound is an elusive mystery, it functions through strict physics;
waves undulating create readable data for the mind through the
interpretative gateways of the ears. The mind cannot interpret music within the realm of sound. Sound is of nature. Music defies nature. It defiantly denies sound. It stridently strives to assert itself beyond accessible realms of meaning.

When I hear now the sound of the water in the bathtub draining, or the drunken argument of the bums in the alley, I am equipped with material truth. I am aware of an action occurring within the boundaries of time at a specific point. Music supersedes all temporal and spatial boundaries immediately, negating its sonic source point.

Sound is action etched into the medium of air. Music is an action
etched into the medium of mind, a reverberation of the former etching perhaps, but an absolutely singular and transcendent action as well.

Noise is now known enough that it will thrive only when it ceases to be noise. Its promise must be found nowhere.

posted by chauncey

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friday 10/13/0006

SHOW TONIGHT IN OAKLAND/BERKELEY

posted by elvis

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Habits

Blind, erratic desperation
circling senselessly through layer
upon layer of history and memory,
an old joke told one too many times,
the inevitable question,
the distinction, glaring, misguided,
causeless at the root, divisive,
hateful scorn, sweaty paranoia and toothaches,
ancient agonies,
the stolen merchandise,
the fast pace,
the flagrant abuse of tradition,
non-sequitur,
trials,
false flags,
red blood and nerves.

At the root of this land is the Earth.
For all those who question, quietly,
between moments of joy and hate,
I say speak to yourself unabashedly,
with arms outspread and face unafraid of manure.

On this Anti-Columbus Day
there are ghosts and memories and spectres,
haunting blurry cries and screams.

Before Christianity came to America,
people prayed to God through the trees.
The Earth is your Bible. I saw the trees today.
Times have changed and so has worship.
Sincere questions need be asked if we are to be
more than dry skeletons.
The challenge must be embraced.

I am bluntly taunted by my own cynicism and fear.

posted by chauncey

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thursday 10/12/0006

give me the money and the weapons

posted by clops

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kevekev.com vs. the post-avant

On the one hand, saying that "art cannot shock anymore" is a bit like saying that history has ended; and both arguments have been not infrequently offered. But few have offered the art-based variety as interestingly as Chris Cutler (Henry Cow, Art Bears, RER records).

Music which had, as a section of a larger cultural project, called itself the avant-garde since the late 19th century was ostensibly attacking the academic standards of art, and had basically succeeded by the point of the cataclysmic cultural revolutions emanating out of 1968. As in other spheres, cultural production "liberated" itself from the high/low distinction bound within a 19th century world view. Yet the term avant-garde (vanguard, or advance guard) implies in itself an idea of leading somewhere, which in turn requires some type of conception of progress/movement that is also tied to the same 19th century world view. Just as 19th century liberals saw history moving in one direction, their Marxist opposition also saw history moving towards an endpoint - they just disagreed on the methods.

So, in one sense, the term avant-garde should probably be put out
of use today. As Cutler points out, what we understand today to be "experimental music" does not connote a stance against the academy (after all, some of the most experimental music originates from within the academy these days), but rather a stance against the market - that is, it is experimental to the extent that it is not commercially viable.

The post-1968 era removed the stodgy academic stranglehold on the beautiful and the good, but replaced it with the market as the ultimate arbiter of taste. Thus what is experimental today can become acceptable in the eyes of the mainstream tomorrow (see: Wolf Eyes in the New York Times). And, if we take a broad look at cultural production before and after 1960, the market is in fact much more democratic than old dead white men when it comes to allowing diverse musical forms to be heard. But what are the implications of this?

When a musical act rebels, or at least claims that its cultural production is an act of rebellion, what is it rebelling against? Not against old dead white men, but against the market itself, which is usually a false or misdirected rebellion. The very claims and desires of the avant-garde -- instilling authenticity of sound as "music," removing the dictatorial role of the composer, etc. -- have been accomplished. Thus we now find ourselves in a position where we either choose: to acquiesce to the all-powerful market as arbiter of the good and beautiful; or alternatively to make new claims of integrity ourselves, an option that leaves us no better or more correct than those same very dead and very, very white men (how can we be sure we are right?).

The way out of this impasse cannot resemble the current animating but non-threatening motions emanating from the self-described avant-garde music communities.

Call it what you will, but 'noise' artists seem to hold a contradictory position in today's aesthetic world: they continue to, as the article states, "blow up the same ruins," but blowing up ruins does not accomplish one single thing.

They ask for recognition that their cultural goods are as good (or better) than anyone else's. But this has been apparent and essentially taken to be obvious for decades now.

So, what are they complaining about? Their lament is actually that their niche has not been granted a large enough market share. Yet when the position of noise as an aesthetic is given market recognition (again, Wolf Eyes is just my single example in this discussion), they get nauseous. Seems to me like 19th century blues, not 21st century reality.

History will not end, and neither will cultural movements. But the idea of this movement being for the most part rudderless is clearly unsettling enough to call forth old elitisms repackaged as new rebellions.

posted by kevekev.com

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Kant was right:

A new study has provided what astronomers call the strongest evidence yet for what the philosopher Emmanuel Kant and scientists have long predicted: planets form from debris disks around stars.

Kant, a German, first proposed more than two centuries ago that planets are born from disks of dust and gas that swirl around their home stars.

(lookin pretty smug, too)

posted by elvis

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This Day in anti-blog History
Hey, Kids! WWIV, Comicxks, & Suicide!

Well, not quite this day. It looks like two years ago today I was wrapping up a site redesign. But on 10/14/0004 here is what I inexplicably & unceremoniously consolidated & re-dumped upon the interwebs:

Source Watch has a wiki for the Project for the New American Century that is still looking good. PNAC laid the groundwork for (choose two):
a) the end of history
b) blogging (yech!)
c) 9/11
d) more fucking oil for karmerica, yeah!

The Smoking Gun's copy of the sexual harassment suit against Bill O'Reilly is still very entertaining (as is O'Reilly himself, last time I caught him on the cable). O'Reilly's well defined ethnicity-specific sexual preferences appear to be thoroughly considered.

Substantially more shelf-life can be found at this Winsor McCay site, which offers some interesting Flash-based presentations of McCay's comickxs work. He is undeniably one of the greatest in the history of the medium, and also one of my personal favorites. You have probably heard about the gigantic Nemo book, but a much better option for the shelf & wallet is this recently reprinted collection of all the strips from 1905-1914 in color and at a decent size.

This University of Illinois page offers not only a definition of the Sestina, but also some really poor E.C. Segar Thimble Theater scans. What was I thinking? Fantagraphics is set to reprint a ton of Segar's work beginning later this year.

Ask Art is a useful resource for poking around the thing called "American Artists".

Anthony Snyder sells an horrific amount of bad superhero comickxs original artwork. But, this site runs deep, and there is good stuff to be found as well, like some Wally Wood titties, Dan DeCarlo legs, Kirby space madness, Gil Kane monsters, etc.

The comicxks continue with a typical Johnny Ryan masterpiece, and a similarly ass-centric classic Maakies strip. There is a broken Kaz link that I will replace with yet another 'anal-synchronicity' pointed out to me by Dr. Bigs this morning. Hm.

Ah, and a rousing conclusion to the yuks by the inimitable Ivan Brunetti, whose "2002 Year In Review" bears no resemblance whatsoever to my own 2003, 2004, or 2005 years in review.

I think I may discontinue this feature yikes!

posted by elvis

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wednesday 10/11/0006

It is a veritable "bring out your dead" as we move beyond the initial promise of the internets, pushing the notion of content provision to the near past; say, 1997.

Look upon my works, and despair.

posted by kevekev.com

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tuesday 10/10/0006

Konsp Korner follow-up: Monsanto Whistleblower Says Genetically Engineered Crops May Cause Disease

Also, if you buy Silk brand soy products, you are giving your money to Dean Foods, the largest producer of cow milk & assorted products. You may or may not find this problematic.

posted by elvis

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Tankertown: weekly comicxks by Foote & deMorrow

posted by elvis

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monday 10/09/0006

NO DOCTORS dept.

Materialist science is getting closer to abandoning near-meaningless 'definitions' of mental illness. Perhaps at some point they will even cease prescribing methamphetamine to children who don't do their homework.

see also: Chester Brown's "My Mom Was A Schizophrenic"

posted by elvis

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"A Forum For Cinematic Intelligence"
by CansaFis Foote

ASK MY CRACK 001
SNOWBEAST (1977)

It is a typical film-making technique to implicate the viewer by having the camera operate in a "POV". Before the credits hit, I died and fell a SnowBeast, staring up at the protagonists of this mostly boring creature feature.

The thought that I am a SnowBeast is the coolest thing about this
movie.

The creature is also kind of cool, mainly at the end when I
think it is wearing sunglasses and skiing towards Gar, an ex-skier who gave it up because of the perils of celebrity his championships brought him. Pampered piss-wad.

His lady lives too. She harbors an half-hearted yearning for an affair with her ex, and settles the threesome with some lazy rifle searching, but not before brushing his upper lip or something. Milk faces.

The third dude is some black-haired surfer ski bum and I think his name is Tony.

Gar gets the final kill, because when writing the script for this film I thought Gar was a better name so he gets to kill me, the snowbeast, with his ski stick.

When I kill people the screen pauses in a freeze frame and goes blood red. This was so we could fit in commercials for family weight sets.

The cop is supposed to be tough. These people are supposed to be friends. They let that dude get it. It's for TV, so no gore. Like Spheelburgh the monster is hinted at. When you see me I look like this guy.

Things this movie needs: More monster time. Less spoiled ski bum. Bigfoot newscaster time.

I want them to remake this with Shaq and Bigfoot, and Shaq is interviewing Bigfoot, and we get montages of Bigfoot in action coupled with Shaq slam dunks, and a rap video where they share verses snowboarding down a hill. If they need commercials
they have to all be for extreme soda and everyone needs to be swimming in the soda and screaming like they hate it but secretly like it. Then bigfoot gets on all fours like a dog and licks the people at which point the camera goes to a "POV" and he's licking a torch before the obligatory dream sequence dance sequence.

Tell me when we have the budget ready and I'll start making phone calls. In the meantime, RARRRARARARRARARARRARARARARARRRRRR!!!!!!!

posted by cansafis

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Industry is wack!!

posted by mr. brians

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friday 10/06/0006

US OUT OF CA TOUR 0006

We will be doing a two week tour of California from 10/28 - 11/11. How ridiculous! Dates posted here. Consider this fair warning. This will be flogged excessively here as the dates draw near.

posted by elvis

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thursday 10/05/0006

Orlov's Big Bummer

Dmitry Orlov is one of the best writers currently paying attention to Peak Oil and its consequences for contemporary, thoroughly doomed USA. Orlov lived through the economic & systemic collapse of the Soviet Union, and applies his experience and insight to possible outcomes of a similar 'transition' here.

His recent three-part essay "Thriving in the Age of Collapse" is highly recommended. Parts one, two, and three are all free to read and distribute. I also recommend his earlier piece, "Post-Soviet Lessons for a Post-American Century": part one, part two. Put on the glasses!

Yes, I know oil prices have been dropping recently. Remember, it is election season, and like Kunstler says, "inventories are not production."

On a related note, I just watched Herzog's Lessons Of Darkness (1992) and the post-apocalyptic helicopter landscape shots and glorious flaming 'Texas tea'-parties set to a bizarrely dramatic classical score are an eerily prescient tribute to the chapters of WWIV that lie just around the corner. Take a look.

I snagged the above Richard Duncan graph from From The Wilderness.

posted by elvis

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wednesday 10/04/0006

Robert Anton Wilson is dying and broke. Rushkoff is correct when he states that Wilson "will one day be remembered alongside such literary philosophers as Aldous Huxley and James Joyce." If you have dough, throw him a bone.

posted by elvis

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"no comment" part ii

1. Go to this UK Daily Mail story

2. Click on the link 'see the latest pictures from the animal olympics'

3. "no comment"

posted by elvis

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MAIL BAG (not to be confused with "wind bag")

Mr. Brians's first post (10/2/06) has generated a bit of an email furor. Perhaps the most impassioned missive arrived from Chef St. Clair in North Carolina, who has some stern words of encouragement for the renowned skin-slapper:

After considering the content of the page, I have noticed with deep regret that one Mr. Muthafucking B. is woefully underrepresented, aside from one photo seemingly taken on a cell phone camera while shittering. Brians - step up! Lets hear some real words! Not just bong sound effects, but bong musings! Whuzzdafuk? Blog it out man! Type! You are but so wiser than the world but only scarcely knows - bring the wisdom. Or at least some cookie recipes?

Indeed! One "Elephant Rider" from Chicago weighs in along a similar vein:

I like the new website. Still, I feel as though it is missing something. Mr. Brians, you really need to start bringing the goods. I feel as though you are simply phoning in these toilet-cam photos of yours without truly delivering the real-deal "View from the Throne."

Strong words! Yet this princely legalese is confirmed by yet another concise note, from J. Riche in Cincinnati:

I want to like the new website but it's just not possible until Mr. Brian starts providing the goods.

I could go on, but the consensus is clear. The question is: what really happens? Will Mr. Brians care to translate his widely-recognized skills in the "bro-down" towards the lowly blog format? I for one have no choice but to stay tuned...

posted by elvis

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tuesday 10/03/0006

Tankertown Year Two will be a serialized comickxs story by Foote & deMorrow, posted in weekly installments here each Tuesday. Your thoughts & comments are welcome.

posted by elvis

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The SF Chronicle has a solid piece on Maxon Crumb this morning.

posted by elvis

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"Zusanli"

They are a golden lock requiring instruction in order penetrate [their meaning], and they should be transmitted only to those who have achieved great attainment. Do not speak of them off-handedly to one who is not a [true] disciple.

-from Mang Dang Yang’s Song of the Twelve Heavenly Star Points for the Treatment of Various Diseases.

Having fully considered the above edict, effected in the Jing dynasty, I have decided to say “fuck it” and tell all of you, worthy or not worthy, about one of the most important of the Heavenly Star acupuncture points, Zusanli.

This point, commonly known as Stomach 36, is located 3 cun (about the width of your palm) below the “eye of the knee” (the lateral indentation below the patella), one fingerbreadth lateral to the anterior crest of the tibia. Got it?

Literally translated, Zusanli means “leg three mile,” because it is thought that at the brink of exhaustion, stimulation of this point will enable one to walk for three more miles. According to Man Dan Yang, this point

unblocks distention within the heart and abdomen, treats cold in the stomach, intestinal rumbling, and diarrhea, swelling in the lower leg, and soreness of the thigh, knee, and lower leg, cold injury, emaciation, and detriment, qi gu [i.e., an accumulation of parasitic toxins resulting in drumlike distention and fullness of the chest and abdomen], and all sorts [of other diseases]. After 30 years of age, needle and moxa [this point] and the eyes [will see] clearly. Select this point only after careful investigation.

According to Peter Deadman’s A Manual of Acupuncture, this point is also said to treat “mania-depression, manic singing, raving, abundant talk, anger and fright, tendency to sadness and outrageous laughter.”

This point is also thought to be the secret to long life and health. A Japanese folk tale from the Edo era (1603-1867) about Farmer Manpei tells that when Manpei was asked whether he had any secret to maintaining long life, he answered that he had no secret other than burning moxa on Zusanli every day, just as his ancestors had done. It is recorded that Manpei lived 243 years; his wife, Taku, lived 242 and their son, Mankichi, lived 196 years.

Similarly, the first sentence of Haiku Master Basho Matsuo's diary Okuno Hosomichi (1689) reads: "I have sewn a torn part of my undergarments. I have changed the strings of my hat. I have burnt moxa on my Zusanli. My mind is now totally occupied with the moon over the Matsushima islands..."

Finally, citizens of Japan were said to have burnt moxa on their Zusanli to prevent illness after Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Need more proof? Too bad.

Soldiers in Japan are discouraged from walking with a partner who does not have a moxa scar on their Zusanli. Why? Their partner will be weak and sickly, that’s why. This even applies to the selection of a marriage partner, as someone without a moxa scar on Zusanli will not be able to walk through life with you. So go ahead, check their legs, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

posted by michelle

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monday 10/02/0006

view from the throne bongggg!

posted by mr. brians

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I saw this great PBS documentary on the field recording giant Alan Lomax yesterday. Then I found this folkstreams.net site, with lots of films on all kinds of stuff. Free.

posted by kevekev.com

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sunday 10/01/0006

Tankertown Year Two begins Tuesday.

posted by cansafis

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"no comment"

posted by elvis

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