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Happy birthday Sir Mr. Muthafuckin Brians!
posted by elvis I am pleased to present the latest in an irregular series of reports from abroad c/o kevekev.com as he once again spends his summer traversing the West Asian lands. What really happens! -ed. Islam in Yo Face! pt. 9 - Beirut to Cairo and Back
Beirut has at least two kinds of ruins: those from the 1975-1990 civil war, and those from last summer's war with Israel. The former can be found in almost all neighborhoods, with famous hotels still standing with chunks missing or bullet holes glaringly unpatched. The latter are confined mostly to South Beirut, in the heavily Shi'a neighborhoods where I recognized the presence of my Iranian 'roots.'
On the bright side, the cuisine here is amazing and a refreshing vegetarian retreat from my meat-ridden nightmares of a few weeks ago. Best fruit juices I've ever had - and note the variety of menu options:
I barely had enough time to get frisked in Beirut before I headed to Cairo for a wedding and some self-organized touring. No time to get into the details here, readers, but I managed to take this picture for my Pink Floyd fan fiction novel, Return of the Tin Ego:
You can't really get under a town's skin - especially one as big as Cairo - with two days of air conditioned 'point As to point Bs'. I prefer a good map, a list of places (but no snarky commentary a la Lonely Planet), and a pair of rested hoofs. Plus, I didn't know the prices of anything so I constantly thought I was getting screwed. It's like having a suburban dad in the back of your head all the time clenching his asshole.
Back in Beirut I spent most of my time watching a sixteen year old play God of War and Guitar Hero. Oh yeah, and I had a shot of absinthe. I rank the physical effects somewhere between bag huffing and staring at the sun. Tomorrow [note this missive rec'd 7/21/07 --ed.] I head to Turkey, where a delightful election on Sunday may result in a coup, an invasion of Kurdish Iraq, or the most stable democracy in the Middle East. What's the emoticon for 'holding one's breath?' posted by kevekev.com No Doctors Live Friday 7/27 Sacramento CA
posted by mr. brian ORIGIN & TECTONICS, track the fourth, as it appears: "Yardin" Roll ye tire mate!
posted by cansafis TANKERTOWN comes weekly like 'sunday come'
posted by elvis B-BALL HERCROTCHULES Part 4 being a collaborative 'jam' inspired, executed & convoluted amidst
posted by cansafis I am pleased to present the latest in an irregular series of reports from abroad c/o kevekev.com as he once again spends his summer traversing the West Asian lands. What really happens! -ed. Islam in Yo Face! pt. 8 - Tehran, Iran
Back to smelly Tehran. Things got heady while I was away. Remember all that jazz about gasoline rationing I mentioned earlier? Well, the government put it into effect. The ration: 300 liters a month (less than a gallon a day), but you can buy up to six months of gasoline at once if you need to travel - but that 1,800 liter maximum is non-negotiable. As soon as this was announced, in a horribly mismanaged and unprepared way, Iranians everywhere rushed to the gas stations to stock up, assuming the worst. For some, it was an affront to their "way of life" and about 10-20 gas stations were torched. By the time I got back to Tehran every gas station had an armed soldier on duty and even longer lines than I had seen during my previous stay. Some youths told me that this might lead to another "18th of Tir," the massive student protests in 1999 that rocked Tehran. Perhaps a better analogy would be the 1989 Caracazo in Venezuela which was sparked by increased bus fares. Others in Tehran remarked how traffic was getting better in the last week due to the rationing. As for myself, I spent my last days in Iran choking on fumes; it seems that either the pollution has gotten worse or my lungs exfoliated during my vacation to the north.
Since I got out shit has gotten worse: former student activists planning a protest were arrested on the 18th Tir anniversary, a labor leader disappeared, and the government feels it has the upper hand after the gas mini-riots did not lead to much disruption. On the other side of the pond, half of the US gov't wants to attack Iran before the year is out, while the other half seems content to just not talk to them. Perceptions of Iran are perhaps more important than reality for the near future. Which leads me to the last problem on this list: the sorry state of Western journalism on Iran these days. Journalists spend two weeks in Iran, usually with Western-oriented liberals and in the wealthier regions, and then go back and write the exact same story every goddamn time. Iran is modern - amazing! Iran has a vibrant society - how about that! Dissidents and social activism occurs - go figure! Journalists spend paragraphs marveling at the availability of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yet it is all set in a dark monotonous cast of an unchanging Iran. Frankly, I have a recommendation to editors who want to sent their ace reporters to Iran: just pick up a year old story and change the dateline. I assure you, nobody will notice. As a Brazilian journalist said to me in Tehran: editors think they know which stories are best, journalists think they know how to track down the story, and readers think they are getting the best news around. All the while everyone really knows that the whole thing is a superficial charade. I wouldn't even go that far - damn! posted by kevekev.com B-BALL HERCROTCHULES Part 3 being a collaborative 'jam' inspired, executed & convoluted amidst
posted by cansafis Elvis's Konspiracy Korner Live Saturday 14 July 0007 Apologies for the delayed post, things have been quite busy in all realms, remunerative and non-. Which reminds me: I know quite a few of you visit this site to read these konsp pieces, which I greatly appreciate. But as both the radio show and this website currently operate on a zero-advertising economic model, prioritization must inevitably occur in order to pay the bills. If you enjoy what you get out of this site, please consider buying our new record, ORIGIN & TECTONICS, or making a donation of any amount via PayPal (you can also email me re: donation via hard moneys). Even modest amounts help to keep things moving forward, as you surely understand (hint: buying the record is a lot more fun than simply donating). Ahem! In the late 1950s, the newly created Advanced Research Projects Agency (later DARPA) received additional support in the creation of a federally-sponsored research consortium of scientists known as JASON, or the JASON group. Rather than the usual wacky federal acronym approach, JASON was reportedly coined in reference to the Greek myth of the golden fleece, truth playing the role of the mystical fleece and the group of researchers, of course, doing the seeking. Essentially an attempt by the federal government to maintain the immense WWII braintrust that had birthed the Manhattan Project, the group was originally dominated by physicists, but has evolved over the decades to reflect the general cutting edge of sponsored research fields within US universities. As the group has always drawn its ranks from tenured university professors, they have generally convened during the summer months when teaching and research duties are somewhat less pressing. Composed of 40-50 members at any given time, the group conducts about 15 research studies each year, most of them classified, and all at the behest of the federal government. Although the motivation behind the creation of the JASON group was in part created by the fear that the WWII-era braintrust would return to their university pursuits, it was also, of course, the dawn of WWIII - the Cold War - and the emergent realization of the significance of western vs. commie science was certainly compelling as well. Initially falling under the umbrella of the Institute for Defense Analysis (IDA) at the behest of then Defense Secretary Charles Wilson and Admiral Radford (him again?! - actually, no, a different Radford (same JCS, though)) of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, JASON shifted toward the Stanford Research Institute (them again?!) in the 70s and finally settled at the MITRE Corporation in McLean, VA from the 1980s to the present. Throughout the decades, most of their research has been commissioned by the usual federal suspects: DOE, DOD, DARPA, among others. Their research has not surprisingly tended to trace the bleeding edge of fancy scientific methods for killing a lot of people, whether it was the initial concoction of the electronic battlefield, good ol' nukes, climate change, the human genome, nanotechnology, alife, or the current favorite: securing the fatherland against suicidal musselmen. Essentially their efforts were applied wherever potential applications of emergent technology toward securing military superiority were to be found. Most members of the JASON group were non-political and truly interested in a career of scientific inquiry, for better of worse. Those who did end up on the political end of things were generally Council on Foreign Relations folks. One particularly remarkable alumnus is Luis W. Alvarez, who developed the detonators for the 'Fat Man' atomic bomb, was on board the Enola Gay when they dropped the other motherfucker, was a part of the 1953 USAF Durant Panel Report that debunked recent UFO paranoia, x-rayed the Great Pyramid of Khafre in 1965, analyzed the Zapruder film in 1967 (and of course concluded that Oswald was the lone assassin), and to top it all off received the Nobel Prize in 1968 and, along with his son, was a prominent proponent of the theory that the extinction of the dinosaurs was due to an asteroid impact. Not all confirmed alumni can match such a magnificent Chris Carter penned-CV, but other notables include Joshua Lederberg, a CFR member who was close to the Rockefeller family and President Jimmy Carter, and headed the 1994 Defense Science Board Task Force on Persian Gulf War Health Effects (and of course concluded that Gulf War Syndrome didn't exist), and Gordon J.F. MacDonald, an apparently influential thinker at the vanguard of weather warfare lauded by none other than Zbigniew Brzezinski. Despite the above, you may be shocked to discover that the predominant narrative of the JASON group - as exemplified by Ann Finkbeiner in her book The Jasons - is that of a well-intentioned representative of the scientific community that has served to save both countless lives and tax dollars by talking down ignorant politicians from their lofty heights of unscientific bloodthirst. We are asked to believe that their role in such projects as anti-ballistic missile networks and Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative was actually one of rational restraint - not to mention all the 'could have been' scenarios we don't know about. Finkbeiner's concern is that the influence of the consortium is considerably lessened in the current climate, to the detriment of liberty, security, and the beloved & unbesmirchable scientific method. This narrative allows only questions of the ethical practice of science, as raised most famously by Scientists and Engineers for Social and Political Action (SESPA) in 1972: essentially, does science ever have an ethical role to play in warfare? SESPA was worked up over the involvement of the JASON group in an electronic barrier between north and south Vietnam in 1966 - the so-called "McNamara Fence" - exposed in the Pentagon Papers. The role of the group in the Vietnam War is generally discussed as giving birth to paradigm of the electronic battlefield that we are still grappling with today in our current adventures in the Orient. On the other end of the narrative spectrum the rather exasperating nut Milton William Cooper muddies the waters between the JASON group (as discussed here) and the JASON Society, a supposed elite faction of the Illuminati. Cooper does deserve note for both his tactic of stating that he knows a great deal more about the JASON Society, but declines to go any further as his bro "Mr. Grant Cameron" is about to spill the whole can of beans and he doesn't want to scoop him; I will have to remember this tactic. Furthermore, he sensibly points out the fact that this semi-secret group has managed to keep a very tight lid on what really happens over several decades, with only several specific leaks (as mentioned above) emerging from their many classified projects. Cooper is correct in noting that this is reason for pause for anyone who maintains that the federal government is composed of a bunch of incompetent warmongers who can barely balance the checkbook let alone pull off vast konspiracies without exposure. As you know, I am agnostic on the whole incompetent malevolence vs. absolute diabolical kontrol paradox, and always welcome juicy bits on either end of the seesaw. Beyond that, you will probably have difficulty following Cooper much further - I certainly did. The man who really takes the JASON group into interesting territory is Joel van der Reijden, who runs the Project for Exposure of Hidden Institutions website from the Netherlands. I just stumbled upon his work in researching this segment and recommend a look. He takes the mainstream narrative a rational step further, acknowledging that while the JASON group was perhaps on the deep inside of federal war tech in their early Cold War days, they have also always been defined as being utterly distinct from the deepest military, intelligence, and most importantly korporate circles of the federal beast. For at least the past 25 years, this is where the real action has been, and for this reason they are most likely out of the loop of the really nasty stuff that is being cooked up for you & yours. Van der Reijden also astutely notes that the formation of the JASON group in the late 1950s coincides nicely with the point where this division between aboveground defense research and the expensive & extensive depths of the "military-industrial complex" really began to get out of hand. Van der Reijden does an excellent job in outlining the structure of classification and secrecy within the federal government for dummies like me. Aside from the specifics, the essential component of this post-WWII approach is "need to know" access, in which all access is compartmentalized; even if an individual has a high level of security clearance, it is never across the board, and thus no one (except Them) gets the full bird's-eye view on the deep infrastructure of what really happens. Above classified and top secret access lie the tiers of strictly compartmentalized Special Access Programs (SAP), and above those Unacknowledged Special Access Programs (USAP). A recently publicized example (courtesy Seymour Hersh) of SAPs are the secretly authorized special forces assassins and secret interrogation centers under the current administration. Both SAP and USAP levels are frequently compartmentalized outside of the federal tent itself, falling under the usual korp suspects of Lockheed, Boeing, Bechtel, McDonnell Douglas, et al, and thus are protected by proprietary privilege and exempt from FOIA requests and congressional oversight. You are fighting not only the feds but intellectual property law and its associated hounds if you try to crack those nuts, and that's assuming you can even get an idea of which nuts to crack in the first place. The rational extension of this structure is to hide one USAP behind another SAP or USAP, and thus if things get too hot a secondary SAP can be unveiled while the real dirt is never even suspected (a defensive limited hangout approach). All of this makes something like the JASON consortium appear almost benign in the face of rampant privatization of significant portions of the military. Only a fool still thinks that the federal government does not consider the military and its myriad subsidiary components to be beyond application toward the domestic populace. You may be aware of Jeremy Scahill's excellent work on the Blackwater Korp, who successfully evade both korporate and congressional accountability by playing one gray area against the other. Blackwater, of course, not only rears their merc heads in Iraq but were also on the ground in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and even met with mine own Gov. Schwarzenegger to discuss potential "disaster preparedness" in CA Republic. After the next earthquake hits here in San Francisco I have a pretty good inkling as to whose barrel I'll be staring down the next day. But all of the above - whether JASON-related research or hired korp boots on the ground, acceptably heinous or especially repugnant - requires a shit-ton of money to get anything moving anywhere. And as crooked as post-capitalist USA is in both private and federal sectors, funding for things like this is still pretty impossible to keep atop the books without making a stink. So where does all that money come from, and where exactly does it go? That, of course, is a subject for another day. 'leven' posted by elvis ORIGIN & TECTONICS, track the third, as it appears: "Invisible Clopes"
posted by chauncey TANKERTOWN how was your week date
posted by elvis B-BALL HERCROTCHULES Part 2 being a collaborative 'jam' inspired, executed & convoluted amidst
posted by cansafis LOCAL SCENE was at mosswood park with alex aka lex priesser weeks back. saw ex-deerhoof cooper down the street, said Sup? “brought my music! playin in the park under cryptacize.” sweet dude. lookin into the park there was a scene goin down re: clothes hipsters (excuse that first picture but still Safe For Work) flowin on sum coalz n ice cream. ('i still got you (ice cream)' by pissed jeans [mp3] so good, CLOTHES HIPSTERS GET IT??) anyway, naturally, even carefully, kept our distance and made mai tais on some benches right along broadway ave. there was a wall guardin us from the po and settin a backdrop for the wary… say it: c-loathe-s hipsters. to gaze upon our perch bout a hundred feet out. ideas pourin, most notably a potential new SPOT: a buffalo wing restaurant to start up, call it BUFFALOAKLAND, set to the beach boys' 'california girls' but replaced as such: 'i wish they all could be buffaloakland girls' in concept not necessarily execution, know what i mean? either that or BUFFALOAKLAND: a shared crash pad on hegenberger, right by the oakland airport (in case you gotta jet son). the hegenberger strip will jump off soon. hmm, strange, MS WORD isn't even underlining BUFFALOAKLAND, maybe Microsoft beat me to it. GIT UP! GIIIT UUUUUUP!!! tho this is a good sign: click. homeboy david from ex pets, the same homie who nabbed elvis' secret weapon en route to davis restore maximum freedom festival number 3? yeah, that g, he rolled up. smelled the mai tais and went to the source. so you got that kind of feel at this time. after three o these 'ah mi di li gong zen hong' manifested cryptacize! there's cooper playin the axe as the most aware chef might slice a tuna belly (what is that thing?), swift tension, balance direct. he sings well with nedelle. couldn't make out a vis on the other player, but i will say he was a drummer and another person at the same time. can’t wait for proper venue bigness; guitar textures not found in a park. shoutout to rob enbom who just visited. he sped off to portland in a new van and two ‘new age’ ladies. the punchline is, though he has seating for one, he bought a horse saddle for the other to sit on in the back! and he nabbed two Phish bootleg cassettes for the voyage, what? his new act is called 'eat skulls' watch for it. hot or cold hmm? he chose cold. and john hoppin, my boy steve santamaria, my girl mary meyer (is that your grandma?), the vollas for hours, old time reliljun, Harrison Street, louisiana fried chicken you all make it. much love to tinkture, Cansafis and I are on the case. WITH YOU ALWAYS posted by mr. brian B-BALL HERCROTCHULES Part 1 being a collaborative 'jam' inspired, executed & convoluted amidst
posted by cansafis Elvis's Konspiracy Korner Live Saturday 14 July 0007 1140 CST Full konsp entry to follow over the weekend. posted by elvis I am pleased to present the latest in an irregular series of reports from abroad c/o kevekev.com as he once again spends his summer traversing the West Asian lands. What really happens! -ed. Islam in Yo Face! pt. 7 - Tabriz, Iran Welcome, dear readers, back to Iran, where every corner is a Konspiracy Korner. So far I have heard some juicy ones, such as: Dick Cheney runs the world, the UK controls the US since they're smarter, and of course there's always room for the Jews to make trouble since they really run everything. Many reporters are quick to point to Iran and the Middle East's conspiracy mongering, and attribute this to cultural traits or historical bygones. I completely disagree. People here are certainly conspiratorial, but no more than the average joe in the US (here they just know more history). Just ask the guy next to you at the bar who he thinks is running the world.
Tabriz was an "identity" city for me - my father's family originated there. Located in the historical region of East Azerbaijan, Tabriz is full of Turks, speaking Turkish. Or more accurately, Azeri Turkish, which has a good mix of Persian words in it, but not enough to make sense to me (I hear the equivalent of the Muppets' Swedish Chef). When Mustafa Kemal Ataturk founded modern Turkey, to the west, he removed many of the Persian words as well as converted the Turkish alphabet to Latin letters from Arabic ones. As a result, Turks in Iran, who still speak Azeri Turkish (as well as those in Azerbaijan to the north) say that Istanbul Turkish has lost its ability to speak poetically. I'm not sure about that; Turks in Istanbul are not just grunting and mewing, so we might chalk that one up to Iranian nationalism.
Most Tabrizis spoke a fair degree of Farsi and I got around easily enough. The food there is the best in Iran, and I shoved it into my ailing stomach for four straight days. That's right, my guts were still churning after Mashad, and finally it stopped yesterday after I bought the generic anti-acid Aluminum MG. Ahh yass, when I think of soothing my stomach, I picture pouring cold aluminum down my gullet. Anyway, that little box on your Travel Yatzee scorecard for "ingestion of aluminum" can now be checked. Tabriz was the center of the 1906 Iranian constitutional revolution. Since it failed, I like to call it 'the revolution that got away.' Still, it was the first modern revolution in the Middle East and played an important educational role in shaping later Iranian history, specifically: don't let the Shah invite the Russian Cossack Brigade into your country and expect to win. I just love Russian Cossack Brigade jokes.
I also met some Aussie tourists who run their own natural cosmetic and body product company in Australia. They disliked Fosters and were not raving mad in that anti-Semitic way like Mel Gibson. Go figure. The couple embodied the kind of almost too nice, "I'm OK, you're OK" traveler that is necessary if you plan on spending more than a month going around Iran without knowing Farsi. I had an interesting run-in with a mullah who, impressed with my Farsi, assumed that I was not Australian. I told him I lived in America to which he asked, "Are you a Christian?!" I said hell no and that my father was from Tabriz (that implies that both he and I are muslims). Then he patted my bearded face and smiled his toothy grin and was happy. I let him be so. Not that I'm saying he would have speared me if I said I was Christian - I do not want to give that impression. Seeing as I met him in a museum and again at a poet's shrine, I'm guessing he's not one of the uber-mullahs. And he treated the Aussies with much respect. It's just that I get weird around clergy, no matter what religion. Unless it's at a bar and then they're on my turf.
One more important bit before I go - an anti-paean to the vocoder: Dear vocoder, There are no more microtones; just harsh robotic moves through the scales of cheesy pop atop incredibly dated techno beats. Vocoders do not make a person's voice more "romantic," "groovy," or "talented." To the contrary, the voice sounds shitty and I know that you know but you are not letting on because you hate all things beautiful. I was going to insert a Troutman joke here but the matter is simply too serious. Seriously,
My next entry (and last from Iran): why reporters can't find a good story to write on Iran even if it is vocoded for them. posted by kevekev.com ORIGIN & TECTONICS, track the second, as it appears: Though you wore the turtle shell, And you're ready to fight, Clutch the sound of ocean in your And you're ready to fight,
posted by chauncey TANKERTOWN so weekly, so comicxks
posted by elvis Be therre proclamacioun: the houre of cunctation is at an egresse. Gather rounde ye most bibulous brethren and convivial courtesans, and make at hande for supping an unalloyed aqua vitae. Beholde; wee bequeathe this eolian artifacte, the Ternary Texte of the NO DOCTORS; be it known ORIGIN & TECTONICS to all thyne amongst the sublunary; gifted as of the Aer, in order that all myte stoke the conflagration eo nomine CLXPÆS. Be it knowne this philtre bear much oneiric vulcanicity; and be it knowne it is augured, by those of practice, that adventitious apraxia shalle supervene of all valetudinarians bearing witnesse in apostasie. Be it ye knowne to all currish tergiversatours bearing the forke; that your fustigation shall only reciprocate thyne owne decollation. Mistake not our magnaminitie for mansuetude, or ye shalle be birthing thine quietus less dubiety. Enoughe: wee have hearde the cries of esurience among the initiate. Suffere no more epexegesis, but rather gather thine galère, and eternize the pelagic quintessence, in the stentorian fashion, throu the holie cumshaw. NO DOCTORS 0007
posted by chauncey I am pleased to present the latest in an irregular series of reports from abroad c/o kevekev.com as he once again spends his summer traversing the West Asian lands. What really happens! -ed. Islam in Yo Face! pt. 6 - Mashad, Iran I have one remaining appendage without an injury. My right elbow got bloodied while hiking up a mountain. My left forearm got a bit shaved off when a rogue motorcycle started up under the amateur hand of its owner inside a bazaar here in Mashad. Luckily all those matador video games I played as a kid paid off and I emerged only slightly harangued and bruised. The best one, though, was when my right leg fell through a grate over a roadside gutter in Tehran; one of the bars was missing just enough space for my leg to fall through and get stuck at the knee. The topper was that a guard was standing about 20 feet away doing some schmuck job. I was literally stuck in a hole and he just stared at me. After thirty seconds of making a lot of noise I was free, no thanks to him. I "walked it off" for 15 minutes but then returned and gave this young man the biggest stink-eye ever thrown in Central Asian lands. With the mojo I laid on him, his loins are at least barren for life, and he may be shitting blood at this very minute. I still have a lump under my knee that is not going away, though. Who wins?
Mashad (NW Iran: pop. 3 million) is a holy city housing the shrine of Reza (Rida in Arabic), the 6th Shi'a imam, and is nicknamed "Mecca for the poor" (Shi'as only). I am here smack in the middle of pilgrim season - supposedly 20 million (a high estimate, I wager) make a trip here every year from inside Iran as well as other countries where large Shi'a populations exist. One may ask the question: why Mashad as the major pilgrimage site and not Najaf or Karbala where the 1st (Ali) and 2nd (Huseyn) Imams are buried? No, it's not because of Iraq or Saddam Hussein or islamofascism - it goes back further. My favorite explanation is this one: a ritual developed centuries ago involved the transport of corpses to be buried near the shrines of the Imams. Najaf and Karbala, under control of the Ottomans by the 17th century, were the choice sites. Naturally, such a ritual garnered along with it the economic realities of taxes, burial licenses, import duties, and the like. The Sunni Ottomans were the archenemies of the Safavid dynasty, who were situated in the territory of modern Iran and also were responsible for successfully promoting Shi'a Islam as a state religion in Persian lands. Not wanting to see their coffers sucked dry due to unnecessary corpse-trading, the Safavids began to promote Mashad as THE pilgrimage site to die in. 'Nuff said. Anyway, the Imam Reza Shrine Complex - and it is a complex - is more like a mini-state than a measly shrine. Basically it is the schmanciest mosque I have ever seen, and now the fanciest you have seen as well:
The only problem I had was that much of it was being restored, and I am more into old mosques that are not restored to the shiniest degrees. But the place is impressively run like a Mussolini train schedule. Even though pictures were forbidden, the attendants had a fluffy stick that they would tap you with if they caught you. A fluffy stick! Mashad is slightly cooler than Tehran, with the result that many of the tourists who come here in the summer are rich. I can prove this since I have seen more fat Iranian kids in the last 5 days than my 3 previous weeks in Tehran. It is hard to get fat here - you really have to work at it. Some of these kids definitely get capital As - as in "Ass" - for effort. They go to places like this new mall I wound up at on a sightseeing tour. Note the scary sun seven stories up:
The mall had its own Chinatown, twenty ice cream parlors, and not one bookstore (who says they hate our way of life? --ed.). I also went to a zoo. If you travel and have been to zoos in poorer countries, you know how depressing they are. Let's just say I was not amused at the Great Dane dog cage, or the ample number of cigarette butts seen in the chimp cage (note to Elvis: dogs are in cages because they're dirty like dogs). For those keeping score on my gastro-intestinal fantasy league, the last four days have been a continuous period of mild to intense stomach pains. Since these meal-time maelstroms have not subsided, I presume the culprit to be some sort of parasite in my guts. I have named him Wormer Herzog. He is currently in production on his new film, "Shitzcarraldo."
Let me close this missive with a rumination on the topic of the Mashad cherry - the most famous cherry in perhaps the entire world (unbeknownst to pesticide-addled American palates). This plump and robustly dark fruit, currently in season here (I know what you're asking: what's a season?) looks nothing like your mortal cherries of the West. It contains a novel ingredient: taste. Just look at it and sample the flavor:
posted by kevekev.com Why yes, our bio page has been updated - why do you ask? posted by chauncey "Yerba Buena" (mp3) is the first song on our new record, "Origin & Tectonics." Here is what it looks like: "Yerba Buena"
posted by chauncey That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is in the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. posted by elvis ORIGIN & TECTONICS BLASTITUDE REVIEW + MP3 "YERBA BUENA" For your holiday times, please enjoy the first track from our new LP, "Yerba Buena" (mp3). You can buy the record here. Here are some words on ORIGIN & TECTONICS care of Larry Dolman's fine Blastitude rag: In the latest newsletter to the No Doctors mailing list, Elvis DeMorrow claimed that their new LP Origin & Tectonics "has already caused Larry Dolman to stop updating his BLASTITUDE site in sheer awe." Well, it's not the ONLY reason I've stopped, but there's no doubt that the advance copy I've received has left me rather speechless, and at first it was because it sounded so slick. It took 'em awhile to put this thing out (their first release since moving to San Francisco in 2004), and it sounds like they spent that time meticulously learning to be a massive, clean-cut, and undeniably pro-sounding rock and roll juggernaut. They've also learned how to really sing melodies and enunciate their lyrics, and I'll be honest, these were unexpected developments. Remember the non-stop yowling garbage-fi chaos of their last full-length, Hunting Season from 2003? Those blighted and decrepit streets have been completely cleaned up, as if some kind of pro-rock Rudy Giulani took over and redeveloped the neighborhood into a futuristic metallic factory complex that slowly crafts a high-tech and burnished reamalgamation of the history of rock. I'm telling you, sometimes they sound NORMAL on this album, like South by Southwest or Kemado Records normal, until you listen closer and realize that's precisely why they are now weirder than ever. Again, their always bold and wiggy lyrical concepts are now clearer and more pronounced, which can be especially disconcerting on acoustic numbers like the extra-catchy campfire song "For You," which goes "Wishing on a woman / wishin' she would strip / Take me to the ocean / wanna skinny-dip," seriously, and then asks a "fire-breathing lady" [sic] to "smoke me like a peace pipe / If you wanna end the war" [sic!]. But then after each one of these preposterous verses they pull out a sweet instrumental turn-around, driven by guitar filigree and melodic bass, and we are reminded that their motives are utterly sweet and pure. And there are other songs on here that are just plain monumental -- "Invisible Clopes" and especially "AAO" take the tempo and weight of doom metal and apply it to some new style that is just as slow but poppier, proggier, and stranger, driven by CansaFis's 'saxophone army' designs and yet more of those bold lyrical concepts. (Apparently the track sequencing reflects "the path from earth to jewel to love at the circus," and I think I'm almost getting it -- definitely getting the "earth" part because some of these lyrics, like "Yardin" and "Tuning the Sundial," are just plain eco, and around here that's a GOOD thing, OK?) "Lost in the Fog" takes the 1950s balladry that was overtly referenced on "Floating Woman" (from the ERP Saints CD EP, 2004, No Sides Records) and makes something more covert, yearning, and intense out of it, a seriously heartfelt lament for a stupefied leisure society. And that's the key -- even with all the goofin' and yardin' and perceived slickness on display, this is a seriously heartfelt record, which is why I keep listening to it. posted by elvis TANKERTOWN a weekly declaration across all states by
posted by elvis Only one "fuck"? It was an off month I guess. This is nowhere near as disturbing as the search phrases you sick people use to find this place. Anyway, have an "heroin (6x)" holiday!
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
posted by elvis Islam in Yo Face! pt. 5 - Tehran, Iran
My stomach is killing me this morning - shouldn't of ate that road sandwich yesterday. The floor toilet does little for these cases - better just sticking your ass out a window.
Before I head to hopefully cooler climates in northern Iran, let me take a few moments to puncture some bubbles of misinformation. Take a gander at the chart below:
Too often people compare poor countries with rich countries, and, seeing that poor countries do not measure up, deem them to be "in crisis" or "failed," or some other portentous word is thrown around by the NGO set. This is not the correct way to compare countries. Instead, look at a comparison of some indicators of Iran with both its neighbors and with other oil producing states. Take a look at Iran's poverty level in comparison to Turkey, Egypt, and, more importantly, oil-producers like Mexico and Venezuela. Only Malaysia, also an oil and gas exporter (though not in Iran's league), has comparable poverty alleviation. Iran's poverty levels began dropping after the Iran-Iraq war ended, thus the majority of Iranian poor saw their incomes rise after 1990. If you also consider that this occurred pretty steadily over the last 20 years, even as oil prices jumped up and down quite dramatically (10 bucks a gallon in the late 1990s (never forget! -ed.)), then it is even more impressive - this isn't shown in the chart but you can take my word. Iran therefore moved from a monarchy in the 1970s with Egypt-level poverty to a post-revolutionary semi-welfare state that at least lends enough support so that the majority of its citizens aren't dirt poor. There are still lots of lower class people and pockets of rich playboys, but that is not an Iranian problem, that's a global problem.
posted by kevekev.com The Top 20 Foods to Buy Organically 1. Coffee – Conventionally farmed coffee, like most imported produce, may be subjected to chemicals (DDT) that are banned in the US. When purchasing decaffeinated coffee, be sure to purchase water processed or Swiss processed, which do not use methylene chloride, a known carcinogen. 2. Imported Produce – Chemicals banned in the US, such as DDT, are often still used overseas. Where do these foreign farmers get their DDT? From us, of course, but that’s another blog. 3. Bananas – Again, the same reason as above, highly toxic chemicals are used. Enjoy your bananas now as they’ll soon be extinct. 4. Peanuts – Conventional peanut crops are often rotated on the same fields as cotton crops. Cotton crops are not subject to the same regulations as foodstuffs, so the chemicals used will persist in the soil when peanuts are planted. Also, organic peanuts contain less of the carcinogenic fungus known as aflatoxin. 5. Strawberries – Strawberries are the most heavily contaminated crop in the US. On average conventional crops are sprayed with 25lbs of pesticide per acre; strawberries are sprayed with 500lbs of pesticide per acre. They contain high levels of endocrine disrupters as well as methyl bromide, another carcinogen. Strawberries are typically sprayed with fungicides prior to shipping as well. 6. Bell Peppers – Conventional bell peppers are loaded with neurotoxins. Also, they are often waxed which makes it difficult to remove pesticides from the surface. 7. Spinach – Spinach has been found to contain systemic pesticides, which cannot be washed off, plus high levels of endocrine disrupters. 8. Stone Fruits – Due to their sweet nature, these crops are heavily sprayed. They are also one of the few non-animal products that are treated with anti-biotics. 9. Melons – Cantaloupe and Honeydew have been found to have a high percentage of persistent chemical residues, which can diffuse through their skin. 10. Apples – Apples are nearly as contaminated as strawberries. Concentrated apple juice is of particular concern because most of it comes from Eastern Europe and has been shown to have radioactive contamination from Chernobyl. 11. Green Beans – These are heavily treated with systemic pesticides. 12. Grapes – Grapes contain a high percentage of chemical residues, including methyl bromide. 13. Cucumbers – Cucumbers were found to contain dieldrin, a carcinogen. 14. Leafy Greens from Southern California – These are irrigated with water form the Colorado River and contain perchlorate residues (rocket fuel). 15. Sprouts – At such an early growing stage these plants are trying to take in and store as much as they can, which in the case of conventional farming happens to be systemic pesticides. 16. Rice – Prior to 1984, the herbicide 2,4,5-T was sprayed on rice, and continues to contaminate the ground water of many rice fields, including those in the Sacramento River valley. 17. Corn – Nearly 50% of all produce pesticides are sprayed on corn, including atrazine, an immunotoxin (corn is also one of the most widespread genetically modified foods - also a whole 'nother blog -ed.). 18. Baby Food – It is estimated that humans receive 35% of their toxic exposure by age 5. Babies have developing livers which lack the enzymes needed to process many of the toxins mentioned thus far. 19. Meat – Fat-soluble chemicals accumulate in species as they work their way up the food chain in a process called bioaccumulation. This is in addition to all the hormones and the frightening farming practices. 20. Dairy – Mostly for the same reasons as meat, but also because of rBGH in milk, which has been shown to increase Insulin-like Growth Factor (IGF1) in cows. This residue in the milk may be the reason why, from 1979-1981, 3,000 Puerto Rican infants were found to have premature sexual development and ovarian cysts. For all produce, particularly conventionally farmed, it is very important to wash your produce before eating. I recommend washing everything in a mixture of water and apple cider vinegar, but I’m crazy like that. Obviously is you’re buying conventionally farmed produce you may only be removing a fraction of the pesticide residue, but that’s better than nothing. I am not falling for products like this, where you spray chemicals on your fruit to remove chemical from your fruit. For organic produce, you don’t have as much to worry about except the fact that the people handling your fruit may not be washing their hands. There is often a lot of sulfur residue on organic produce, which I prefer to rinse off as a matter of taste. Thanks to Mr. David Caruso-Radin. |
